O-o-okay, I done popped me a perky ’Cause I heard it help with the pain, but just help my backaches
– Ski Mask The Slump God
I immediately felt all the love and warmth that I never felt as a child. It rounded off the sharp points of the daggers that lived in my rib cage and cleared the piss out of my vision.
That bottle of pills taught me how to put the demon that raged inside of me to sleep.
That was the first lie I ever told myself…
In Truth…I was the walking dead.
Telltale made great video games. The Walking Dead Game was one of my favorites because virtually the entire game is dialogue based. You use your words, not thumbs, to accomplish great things. You could manipulate and lie to people and were often rewarded for doing so. For me, these games were “truth simulators”. The way I played those games was to simply apply radical, in your face truth, to whatever dire situation or challenge the video game was presenting to me. It was my fantasy, after all.
I was thinking about these games last night as I lay in bed waiting for my brain to cut me a break and shut the fuck up finally. I stopped playing video games over a year ago, but realized how important those experiments with truth were to me.
Your Truth is your voice. Finding your voice is the key to being whole, but we are all fragmented by the lies that we tell ourselves. We replace our MOTIVATION with JUSTIFICATION. Do this enough and it’s almost impossible to hear your own voice among the cacophony.
The next time you speak, whether it’s to yourself or to another person, enter those dialogue options that Telltale used to give. Take your time to read each reply and pick the one that is telling the truth. That is your voice.
Fight through fear of judgment and be judged. Speak your truth. Use your voice.